Waiting for my student to arrive, I chanced upon this wonderful blog by an amazing Christian woman who mused about her single life, after being newly wed. Some of the points that spoke to me, i have put in BOLD. I am encouraged and was blessed. I pray that you will be too. love lots, RESSA :))
Musings of a Newlywed: For Single Women
I got married at 32.
Ew, old…I can almost hear some of you thinking this. Yes, I guess it is later than I thought I would get married. I was aiming more for 28, 29…God forbid 30!! But that number came and went with much dread and doomsday thoughts of “no one’s gonna want me after I hit 30!!” Not surprisingly, that was one of the things I came to realize a few months after that “fateful” day to be an obvious non-truth. I STILL looked like I was at least…29 (Haha! Or at least I thought so. Thank God for good genes!) and I was, STILL an active and accepted part of society. Anyway, I digress.
Point is, in hindsight, I’m glad I got married at 32. I admit, there were numerous times I didn’t feel that way when I was going through it…it was only seeing things from this side of the fence that I realized that my single years were pretty cool.
For one thing, I didn’t have to think twice about buying a bag (or two, or three!) from Mango if I wanted, or consider who I’d be leaving behind when I left for New York to pursue fashion, or even if I would be using up a child’s tuition if I decided I wanted to spend a month in London with my best friend. It was okay! I was single. That was the TIME to do those things!
Take your eyes off of the horizon and look at where you are now. Are you right with God? Supported by Godly men and women? Not a burden to society? If you are and you know, for SURE, that you’re where God wants you to be right now (even if it’s NOT where you want to be…), you ARE at a good place.
Ps. 84:10 Better is ONE day in his courts than a thousand days ELSEWHERE (…by elsewhere, ANYWHERE you know He doesn’t want you to be…in a compromising relationship, procrastinating, anxious, fearful etc. etc.)
Looking back, I have no regrets, (…well, maybe I SHOULDN’T have spent so much money on BAGS…) since those were the years I learned how to scuba-dive and to ski, lived in one of the most exciting cities in the world, met the most amazing men and women in my life (who challenged me to pursue God with the same passion they pursued life), gained insight about my emotional baggage and realized what a waste of time and energy carrying all that was, went through the most painful, confusing moments in my life and got to see my God work upclose and personal on my behalf. And now, at 33, I’m getting to see how some of the pieces are slowly fitting together.
Those were the years God showed me that HE was my husband—my provider, the lover of my soul, my protector and my delight. (Now, Rico is all those things to me as well…that’s why I wake up so amazed at how good God is…)
Is. 54:5 For your Maker is your husband — the LORD Almighty is his name — the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.
Bottomline is, getting married wasn’t my destination, I was ALREADY married to the BEST husband!
It was realizing that Marriage wasn’t the solution to my problems, the finish line or a prize to pursue, it was merely a different song to a dance that my dancing partner, God, was already leading. Thing is, be sure it’s God teaching you the steps…and that you’re following His moves. (There are going to be a few difficult and painful maneuvers in there, but knowing what a creative, loving God He is…am sure also more than a few fun, joyful jigs will be thrown in as wel!). If it is and you are, you’re in good hands, He’s the best D.I. you’ll ever have.
And while you’re still in this song, ENJOY!!
*And by enjoy, I mean learn to TRUST Him. Let go. Let Him do the leading this time. Or if that’s not the issue…try something new. Get out of your comfort zone! Travel. Enroll in ENLI. Join a short-term missions trip. Meet new people. Learn a new language. Get a new hairstyle. Visit an orphanage. Swing hammers at Habitat for Humanity. Try photography, painting, badminton, sepak takraw! The possibilities are endless. Try not to treat this phase in your lives as a waiting room to something better. This is an exciting place to be at, sista. Enjoy it!